Remain composed.
The pond may be on fire. Your waistcoat is immaculate. Focus on what matters.
A most distinguished amphibian
Gentlemen.
Stay toadly
unbothered.
The world is rather loud. The pond is rather lovely. Pull up a lily pad. You're in excellent company.
Become a gentleman ↗NO HYPE. JUST EXCEPTIONALLY GOOD MANNERS.
COL. TOAD · A GENTLEMAN OF THE POND
CERTIFIED100% DISTINGUISHED
IMPECCABLE MANNERS✦QUESTIONABLE HABITAT✦UNLIMITED COMPOSURE✦ZERO URGENCY
The gentleman's code
A little class.
A lot of absolutely nothing.
One does not simply become a distinguished toad. One observes a few very important principles.
Respect the croak.
Everyone has something to say. A true gentleman waits, listens, then says “quite.”
Touch some moss.
Close the tabs. Step outside. Sit on a reasonably comfortable rock. Splendid.
Notes from the lily pad
The Colonel has
a word for you.
“You do not need to have it all figured out. You do need a very good sitting rock.”
Your lily pad awaits
Excellent taste.
You're one of us.
No application fees. No secret handshake.
Just a deeply unnecessary title and a sense of belonging.
AN UNOFFICIAL FAN CLUB. EXTREMELY OFFICIAL VIBES.